Posted by: granny1947 | October 30, 2014

Granny is not really surprised.

012Hello All.

Well, I was a LITTLE bit surprised.
Mary-Lou continues to amaze me, even in death.
I wondered why I had not heard any funeral details.
I couldn’t even find any notices in the Cape Town newspapers.
Then, I spoke to her son yesterday.

She did not want a funeral.
No funeral at all.
The family did not even attend the cremation.
BUT….
Sometime in the not too distance future, they will scatter her ashes in False Bay.
And have a party of note.
And they will be flying me down to participate.
It should be interesting.
I have loads I could relate at a wake.
But I will restrain myself.
Well, I will try my best.

I have mixed feelings about it all.
Funerals bring a sense of closure.
Well, they do for me.
Though, I hate them.
One would have to be even more weird than I am, to enjoy funerals.
But then I don’t much like weddings either.

I keep thinking I have come to terms with her death.
And then it comes over me again in waves.
She used to phone me EVERY day.
Sometimes for an hour at a time.
It drove Mex insane.
I am missing my mate.

 

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Responses

  1. I agree with you about the funeral thing. They do bring closure and a time to say goodbye. But I am sure that the scattering of the ashes will do that for you all granny. Sending much love and hugs. Grieving takes time. Allow it to happen xx

    • Hi Colleen…don’t think I will go out on the boat…there are great white sharks out there…but the party will be another story!

      • I definitely wouldn’t either Kath…..stand on the shore and wave a beautiful goodbye……and then enjoy the party to honour and celebrate ML’s life and your beautiful friendship ❤ xx

  2. I sympathise with your grieving. We didn’t want funerals but the young have talked us round, so we’ve each planned what we want, including some unconventional music and poetry.

    • Now that is what is called planning ahead…I like it.

  3. I am like ML, just cremation and having ashes sent by Bulgarian Mail to daughters in UK to do what they like. No weeping and a-awailing although I would be disappointed if somebody did not miss me sooner or later…but when I go I am going to a much better place so why should anyone be sad..thats where I want to go…a new adventure

    • I agree P. Someone must miss me a little but no fuss when I go.

  4. I have never needed to attend funerals or memorial services to get closure, much like I don’t have to go to church to feel close to the Universe.

    I figure ML is everywhere . . . or no where. So carry on with your daily chats (that drive Mex insane) as if she’s listening.

    If you LISTEN, perhaps you’ll hear her whispering in the wind.

    • Good morning NR…Having said all that I did not intend going to the funeral, if there had been one.
      I didn’t go to Wendy’s funeral.
      I would rather be there when they are around.
      I don’t have to listen.
      she is appearing in my dreams every night…am beginning to wonder when she is going to let ME go!

      • She’s haunting you! This might be an interesting All Hallow’s Eve for you. BOO!

      • You have an evil side to you. 🙂

  5. I agree with you that funerals do give closure but think of how beautiful the setting will be at False Bay to say goodbye to her…I would carry on having conversations with her in your head, she will hear you….hugs…you are so lucky to have had such a close and loving friendship, truly a blessing in this life!

    • Funnily enough I HAVE been talking to her but it must stop.
      I am starting to get strange looks.

  6. I know what you’re going through, especially having the grief come in waves even after you think you’re on an even keel with things. I hate funerals, period. My closure comes with the sudden shutdown in contact, and talking to family members about our memories of the person. I hate everything about the formal, public funeral. What ML has asked for sounds very much like her; what a perfect tribute.

    • Morning RD…this is a typical Mary-Lou thing…God forbid she should be conventional. 🙂

  7. It must be really hard, not having those phone calls. As for the ‘no funeral’ wish, I think funerals are definitely more for the bereaved than the deceased. They aren’t pleasant occasions, which is probably why Mary-Lou didn’t want to put you all through attending one. A celebration party will serve just as well. 🙂 xx

    • I agree AD…I am looking forward to it.


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