Posted by: granny1947 | August 13, 2013

Granny vents just a little

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Hello All.

Remember me?
I don’t blame you if you have forgotten.
I am not sure who I am anymore.

I think I am depressed.
Well, I hope I am.
There has to be SOME reason for my lack of oomph.

I have thought through my situation.
Moving here was a massive mistake.
I have always been in control.
Suddenly, I feel obligated.
And I hate it.
If my Stepfather says, one more time, how worried he is about his car rusting, I shall shoot him.
Except, I don’t have a gun.
Thank God.
He says the car is rusting because it isn’t parked in a garage.
I LIVE in the garage!!!
His car is rusting because the damn thing is OLD.

I am sitting here and I am crying.
How dumb is that?
But, maybe, that is good.
You guys are my sounding board.
And I need that.
I need to get all these frustrations off my chest.
Bear with me.

Mex is in the house making supper.
Bless him.
I am babysitting Jasmine.
It is pouring with rain and freezing.
Jasmine used to have the run of the house.
Now they have a new dog.
Who hates other dogs.
And Jasmine lies outside the front door and cries when I am cooking.
I can’t stand it.

I think Mex has realised there is a problem.
We are looking for another Grannyflat somewhere.
We need more space.
One room is driving me insane.
But, I feel guilty.
If I don’t cook my Stepdad will hardly ever get a cooked meal.
The old folk live to eat.
I think they like me cooking for them.
My brother is another story.
Won’t eat chicken.
Doesn’t like fish.
Won’t eat stew if there are bones.
Doesn’t like pork.
Constantly turns his nose up at what I am preparing.
One day I shall explode.
And grill his knackers.

You know what?
I feel better.

I love you guys.

Mwah.

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Responses

  1. I figured you were dealing with some difficulties when you didn’t respond to my email. I’m really glad to hear that you’re okay (like, not in hospital!), but I’m so sorry to hear that things have gotten worse. I think finding a new place to live is a good idea – you can still take care of your folks, but then go home at night and unwind. Sometimes too much togetherness is, well, too much. And your stepdad’s car can go back home in the garage and stop rusting. 😉 Love you, missed you, and so glad to see you again!

    • Awww… thank you so much RD…I owe so many people e-mails…please don’t take it personally.

      • No, it’s not a problem. I was going to write you again anyway just to tell you I was thinking of you. Sending positive thoughts your way that you get that ol’ Granny joy back. 🙂

      • I am trying to be positive RD…just does not seem to be working too well.

  2. Venting is good for the soul! Moving away seems like a good option and don’t feel guilty about it.

    • Hi Pussycat….easier said than done…everything a huge mistake and I don’t know how to fix it!

  3. Stop being Mrs Nice Doll. Tell the old coot to make up his mind whether he prefers cooked meals or a less rusty car. Tell dear brudder to eat what he’s given or you’ll just start cooking one less portion and he can sort himself out.
    There. Problems all solved. I should start a column! 🙂

    • Dear Agony Aunt…I have this problem……

  4. I totally agree with Col there Granny. Don’t let anyone walk over your good and kind heart hon. I am sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well and I feel just as sorry for Jasmine. She should be enjoying it there too and now both of you are sad and that’s not fair. Wish I could have come there and pick both of you up and have you live with me. Sometimes life and people just suck Granny but know I am thinking of you both and wishing you well. *big hugs* and lots of love for you and Jasmine. xxxx

    • Hi Sonel…yes I feel desperately sorry for Jasmine…she doesn’t know why she is being punished and she is such a sweet mutt.

      • Sort them all out Granny. No one said there was going to be a new dog when you moved there with Jasmine. Let them make a plan with the dog that doesn’t want to accept Jasmine. It’s not fair towards her or you.

      • Unfortunately, I organised the damn dog from the SPCA but we didn’t know it was so unfriendly to other dogs. I would like to get them together but my Stepdad doesn’t want to do it…I have to get out of here…soon.

      • Ugh! Sounds familair. I had a stepdad like that.
        Hope you get a lovely little place somewhere soon hon. 😀 *hugs*

  5. Venting is good granny, at least it makes one feel a bit better for a while. You are in a bad situation my friend and you need some help a) to put you in a better frame of mind so that you can possibly see clearer as to a way to fix some parts of it. I know it can’t all be fixed right now. But there has to be a way to make the situation more acceptable. Once you feel stronger and not so weighed down by everything maybe you will have the strength to sit the 3 of them down and lay down YOUR rules….because they really do need to be your rules darling. You need to take charge. Sending you the biggest loving hug. Miss you dreadfully here by this bay xxxx

    • Hi Colleen…..you have NO idea how much I miss all you guys.

  6. Missed you – talk when you can even when it’s hard to do so and thank Mex for being there for you. Are you still working?
    Take care
    Cathy

    • Hi Cathy…yes I am still working…don’t like the job or the pay but it gets me out here for five hours a day.

  7. Let them eat cake, save your sanity!

    • Hi Morgue…you are right…really feel my sanity is on the line…a tightrope line!

  8. When my mom was here last year, I felt the same way. And I burst into tears with great regularity. Things are much better now.

    I hope you can figure out a way to improve the situation . . . that doesn’t require using a gun. :mrgreen:

    • Isn’t is crazy Nancy. Crying like a baby at my age….feel like an utter fool.

  9. Finding another flat is a good idea for some degree of separation – you need it, and you can still cook for your stepfather. That way, he can have the garage back for his rusting car!
    Hope you find a solution fast.

  10. OH dear Granny it is so good to hear your voice again. Yes you heard that right. I have a voice in my head for you. A good cry is good for us. I’m sorry you are miserable. I can well imagine that I would be also. So hugs for you.

    • Hi Linda…I hope it is a gruff voice from all the smoking. 🙂

      • It is kind of but that is perfectly fine with me. It’s very friendly.

      • Hehehe Linda…I hope so…generally, I like people!

  11. Missed you and I love you. Maybe happy pills will help, but what the hell, wish I could come and walk on the beach with you, but alas, that would also not be the answer…. ummm, run away!!! Have you read the book, ‘A 100 yr old man climbed out of the window and disappeared’ Kathy, it is very funny and I am sure you would enjoy, 😉

    • Hi Monica….running away has crossed my mind!!!! Who wrote the book? Sounds like my sense of humour. I want to hear all about your trip. Please drop me an e-mail.

  12. So sorry that life is so difficult for you at the moment Granny. You went there with the best intentions but it does rather sound as if you, Mex and Jasmine have been relegated to “bywooner” status and all you have sacrificed is not well understood or appreciated. Seems like you need some distance for the sake of your own sanity … is there no “Meals on Wheels” service in the area?

    • I must look into that Optie…financially they won’t qualify but maybe the age factor. My brother is quite capable of cooking but is just too damn lazy.

  13. My dearest friend, I am so sorry to read of your unhappiness. I hope you do find somewhere else to stay as soon as possible. It would make an immediate difference. You must investigate the costs of someone like Meals On Wheels for your folks and brother. I am sending loads of love to you across the miles. Love you madly xxx

    • Hi Cin…I am just so pleased that you are doing so well…love your new nest.

  14. You are still alive and kicking!! I thought that you had disappeared forever …so I am very happy to see that not only are you still amongst the living but also kicking!
    I said ages ago that you had made a mistake…I don’t always like being right . I just wish that everything was better for you all but unless you do something to change the situation it will still remain the same.
    I can read that you are not happy and I can understand why…so please my dear friend..move heaven and earth to get yourselves out of there and possibly back to where you were happy and content..
    Have you looked into what amenities are available to the old folk…I am sure that there must be something…..as for your brother…a good kick up the rear would not go amiss but on second thoughts..I favour your idea!
    I shall pray for you….that always helps…. In the meanwhile I send you loads of hugs and lots of love…a big X for Jasmine as she is suffering too….

    • Hi Patrecia….yes, you were right…a huge mistake and I MUST get out of here.

  15. Stay strong

  16. Kathy, sounds like you are in a difficult situation. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’ll do something to change your circumstances and maybe you’ll feel better. You do sound depressed. Hugs to Jasmine from Ernie and Ralphy. She sounds depressed, too. You’ll be okay. Good to see you in the blogosphere.

    • Poor Jasmine Maire…she breaks my heart.

  17. So sorry to read of your struggle. A separate home would be a good start.

    How about cooking in huge batches and freezing meals for them?

    • Hi There…have missed your daily jokes…will be getting back into the swing soon…yes…that has crossed my mind…it could work.

  18. Granny…it’s so hard to not come flying over there and help you find a HOME. You are a grown woman – a strong, responsible, resourceful woman. Strong, resourceful, creative women cannot be shoved into a box and told to perform. I know you really believed you could, but those expectations were more from the heart and cannot be realized by any human who wants a life.

    So here’s a little gem, Granny, from one of our First Nations storybooks. You can’t take an eagle, put it in the chicken coop and expect it to stay alive. Eagles don’t live, eat or thrive like chickens. Yep…they’re all birds, but they aren’t.

    You have to look after your heart, spirit and soul, my friend. You are not a chicken. You are an eagle. Get over it and stop the guilt nonsense. Hire someone (not attached emotionally) without a dog to live in the garage be a paid cook!

    It’ll be better for one and all.

    Yah, I know. Who asked me? But Granny…you are not God. Your sense of responsibility is out of whack on this one! If your family can’t see what’s happening to you and don’t have the sense to love you out of that situation, then please listen to your blogging friends.

    Like you – I’ve been wrapped up in living and haven’t been good about blog visits. Plus I owed you an email. So my plea, Granny, is this: Please look after yourself. Obviously no one else is going to do it for you!

    • Oh Souldipper…you always make me feel better. Right now I feel like a budgie in a cage…with a broken leg…and one eye…and halitosis!

      • Nope, you’re an eagle! And you’re starving…you can’t eat the way chickens eat. You’re built for different stuff…not better or worse…just DIFFERENT. And you must fly.

      • Thanks Amy…I feel a little feather growing…small steps.

  19. I was just thinking about you this morning and wondered where you were. And if I was closer I would give you the biggest hug you have ever had, because it sounds like you need and deserve one. Sending you some love sweetie xoxoxo

    • Awwwwwwwwww Princess…I shall consider myself thoroughly hugged. 🙂

  20. Two or three generations in one home dont work, I have realised that and I finally am queen of my own domain again. You need your space Kath, we all do…

    • Hi Michelle…good to see you again. Am so glad you have found yourself!

  21. Glad to see you back. I’m not surprised you’re feeling down. Everyone seems to be taking unfair advantage of you. I won’t add any advice because you already have enough. Hugs.

    • Thanks Mara…I am “adviced” out!


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