Posted by: granny1947 | April 21, 2012

Granny thinks back…part four

Hello All.

Just back from dinner out.
My boss took Mex and me out for supper.
Great steak and good company.

Now back to the farm.
The same farm.
There were a few more after that one.
But none quite that interesting.
Or scary.

We didn’t stay there too long.
I don’t recall quite how long.
But is was a place of many firsts for me.

The first time without electricity.
The first time without running water.
The first time with snakes in the house.
And the first time I ever milked a cow.

One Sunday the staff never turned up for milking.
My husband said I would have to help.
For crying in a bucket, I was a city girl.

I didn’t much like cows.
They are big.
They have hard,sharp horns.
And hooves.
Ever had a cow stand on your foot?
It hurts.
A lot.
They were nothing like the animals I had pictured when reading the Heidi books.
I don’t much care for horses either.
Though they don’t have sharp pointy things on their heads.

I put food in the trough.
To keep the cow occupied.
And I started tugging on the teats.
Milking a cow takes a certain knack.
Nothing happened.
And the cow looked a bit put out.
She kept looking back at me.
And every time she did, I added more food to her trough.
I ,eventually, got the hang of it.
Sort of.
I DID manage to get half a bucket of milk.
I have never looked at a glass of milk in the same way since.
I KNOW where it comes from.

I threatened the staff with death if they ever missed another milking.
They never did.
So that was the first and only time I ever milked a cow.

Then there was the time a cow gave birth to a stillborn calf.
She kept nudging it.
And crying.
And I cried too.

Then there was Peter the bull.
A massive creature.
Who scared the hell out of me.
Come to think of it, lots of things scared the hell out me in those days.

Just to compound my misery, child number four suffered from Colic.
She would scream from four until eight every evening.
She would be crying.
I would be crying.
And my eldest daughter would be crying.
Because she is nice.
The boys seemed to take it in their stride.
It’s a male thing.



  1. I’ve never milked a cow, but I used to play with calves. They are sweet and their tongues like rough sandpaper.

    • Oh yes Pussycat….I like little cows…it is the big ones I am wary of!

  2. Thank you Granny for an entertaining half hour while I caught up on all your posts. Better than reading a mag. I’m nervous of cows but I love pigs. Did you ever have pigs? I’m still thinking of that snake in the bedroom and I’ve got to go to bed in mo. It’s nearly midnight.
    I am enjoying reading your granny thinks bac series πŸ™‚

  3. Oh no thats it. The crying cow has done me in! That is so so sad. Too sad. Excuse me, I have to go cry.

  4. that time sounds rather hectic.

    i think i too would have cried with the cow. it’s a woman thing

  5. Yis! And you call me a sissy πŸ™‚

  6. Whahahah Granny! You are hilarious! I wish I could have been there to take a photo of you milking that cow! LOL!

    Awwww shame Granny. If I were there I would have cried with you. πŸ™‚ What an adventure you had on the farm hon but I am sure you didn’t think of it like that those days. πŸ™‚

    LOL! Yep, sure is a male thing. Men have it so easy, don’t they? hehehe
    Lovely post once again sweetie and love the photo! It’s gorgeous!!!!
    Have a stunning day and big hugs and lots of love to you and Jasmine from me and Simba. πŸ™‚

  7. These glimpses of your past are fascinating, Granny. My stepfather was a vet and I grew up in the country – but in Wales you don’t (usually) find snakes under your pillows! Farm life is tough and brutal – my ‘pet’ lamb was sickly and died after a few days (that’s why the farmer gave it to me, my Dad was really pee’d off,) and a fox ate my duck. But I have happy memories too – thank you for jogging them. Looking forward to more of your reminiscences πŸ™‚

  8. You are going to make this into a book one day, I hope?

  9. I am glad I do NOT live on a farm.


  10. Gosh Granny – can’t believe you were once a “milkmaid” πŸ™‚

  11. All of these brief utterances are, I can tell, masterpieces of understatement!
    Thoroughly enjoyed them.

  12. I didn’t live on a farm , but we did have a cow in our homestead once. I’ve tried milking a cow too:-) and yes, I know how much it hurts when those hooves come down hard on your feet. The calves have such gentle expressions. But it must’ve been hard for you as you were not used to any of that. And i can imagining you shedding tears when the calf died. Anyways, lets get to the good part..which is that all those experiences you had and your recounting of the same in your style, makes us style. So yes..we empathise….or do we? I’m confused:-)

  13. Makes us smile.Uff..these typos.

  14. Loved reading about your farm life, Granny. Those darned alcoholics are so willing to live on the edge. Only trouble is, they live on the edge WITH the people they love! It makes them both fun and frustrating.

    I don’t know how you stood snakes lurking about your home. It’s one thing to know a critter may be about, but it’s another knowing your children’s and your lives could be in danger.

  15. Beautiful photo, granny!
    I’ve never had to milk a cow, but I did have a run in with a bull named John… many years ago.
    Both of my daughters had Colic when they were babies, so I feel for you.
    Much luck on your upcoming move! πŸ˜‰

    • Hi third…colic is the absolute pits!!!

  16. Ouch! (foot) Shame (still born) and I still like milk, even though I know where it comes from, but no sleep on top of all of that?!!! HELL NO!!!!

  17. I’d be lost on a farm. I am afraid of farm animals.

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