Posted by: granny1947 | August 31, 2011

Granny is livid.

Hello All.

The above is NOT from last evening.
It was raining.
Hopefully, I will have  “fresh” pics this evening.

Why am I livid?
I am furious at the selfishness of certain people.
The pettiness.
The immaturity.
The meaness.

On Monday evening my granddaughter’s(hereafter P) stepmother had a “talk” to her.
Told her she was only nice when she wanted something(not true).
Said that the rest of the time she was HORRIBLE.
Not her behaviour.
HER.
P. said that,as she had plenty of good friends, she couldn’t be that horrible.
That is was only stepmother who felt that way.
“No” says stepmother.
Your father thinks you are horrible too.

WTF?
What adult says something like that?
I’ll tell you.
An evil woman.

I am not saying that P. is an angel.
What I am saying is that ,if she is handled with love, you couldn’t wish for a better kid.

I am furious with my daughter-in-law.
I am furious with my son.
Do you get the impression I am furious?

P’s mother gave her up at 13 months.
I got protective custody.
Then fostercare.
Finally at the age of five I adopted her.

My son was drinking and doing drugs.
He disappeared for two years.
Appeared very briefly and then vanished for another five years.

He has cleaned up his act.
Is sober and clean.
I am proud of him for that.

P. wanted to live him.
Reluctantly, I agreed.
It isn’t working.
He doesn’t have fatherhood grounding.
He,also,doesn’t know how to balance a demanding wife and a demanding daughter.
They completely ignore the fact that P. has had serious rejection in her life.
She needs loads of love and attention.

Oh good grief.
My stomach is burning just talking about this.
I thought venting was supposed to help.
So much for that idea.

Now I have to head for home.
Walk on the beach.
Get some peace back into my soul.

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Responses

  1. My heart breaks for “P”. Evil is the right word. Her words were meant to harm, just as much, “or more”, than if a fist was punched in the child’s face. It is called verbal abuse. It is real…..and the scars are usually worse than physical. But alas…..this precious child has your love and support. Healing balm for her wounds. You are her fighter, that will even stand against her own son to protect her. Don’t doubt the healing powers of that. She will heal. I pray for your broken, mothers, heart as well. You are thought of here….P is thought of here….and for what it’s worth to you….I pray for healing….true healing for all. Love, Me

    • Thank you so much…fortunately she is incredibly strong considering all she has gone through….my heart bleeds for her,though.

  2. Oh dear. When you have calmed down, will you be speaking to the adults concerned? You have that right, but it’s obviously not as easy as that.

    • No Tilly…not easy at all….my son is very prickly.

  3. People can be wicked, what an appalling thing to say to a child! I’m livid just reading about it.

    • Hi sue…then you know how cross I am!!!

  4. Oh Granny what a mess.
    Your daughter-in-law and your son need a good kick up the *******
    To ask if you have tried talking to him about this, is pointless , for I am sure that you have..
    It seems to me that the best possible action is to have P to live with you again where she is wanted and loved.

    I shall pray for you all and pray that the Good Lord will give you guidance and show you the right way to go.

    Always know that my thoughts are with you and that you can always email me

    love P

    • Thank you so much Patrecia….I really appreciate it….would love to kick my son’s butt…he is just too big for it now.

  5. I know all the background here and all I can say is that it is a godsend that P has had you as a constant throughout the turmoil in her life. She’s a lovely young lady, poor kid. Poor you. I love you very much. xxx

    • Thanks my friend…love you too.

  6. Oh Granny, I’m so sorry to hear about what your poor granddaughter is going through. It’s truly one of the saddest things that can happen in a young life when a parent/stepparent berates a child so badly. It changes who they are and how they think of themselves; it can completely undermine their self-worth and self-confidence. BUT – P is SO lucky that she has you, because you may bring the balance to her life that she so desperately needs. You give her the love and care that will help to fill the void her own parents have created. I hope she ends up spending more time with you and less time at home. Bless you both!

    • Hi RD…so glad you survived the storm.
      I was worried about you.
      P. will be coming to me this weekend.

  7. What a terrible thing to say to P. Poor girl. Clearly her mother meant to upset her and wound her in the deepest possible way. It sounds like P has a bit of spirit and self-belief, though, if she was able to say that she must be ok because she has lots of friends. Luckily P has her Granny to confide in and be supported by.

  8. Emotional abuse is such an evil thing granny, You don’t see any physical bruises…just emotional ones. And they hurt the most! Whoever said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was an outright liar!! I am so so very sorry to hear about this. Thank God that P has you in her life….her stabilizer. But hearing stuff like this from people who are supposed to love you is just so heartbreaking. It makes me so downright angry. I love you. You are an amazing woman!! Sending you a big fat browniegirl hug xx

  9. I am so sorry P and you are going through this, Granny. Would P consider moving back in with you? Sending lots of love and hugs. xxxx

  10. People can be awful.

    Peace.

  11. It’s really distasteful, our children today need all the encouragement one can give. I believe some never grow up- !!! Hugs to you P-I’m sure your a sweet girl, maybe one day you can teach your “Step Mother” a lesson in ethics !!

  12. That girl is so lucky to have you around or she’d be a jibering wreck. no wonder you are cross!

  13. As an adult, it’s hard enough dealing with people who are mean-spirited. But when it’s an adult laying that crap on a young person, it’s verbal abuse.

    • I know Souldipper…don’t know how to address the situation without them finding out she is confiding in me.

      • Granny, I hope she never thinks she has to accept victimhood!

      • Not while I am around Souldipper.

  14. I can imagine how you feel. I adore my granddaughters and get upset at how their stepfather treats them. There’s not much we can do except love them.

    • You have that right Maire….unless one causes a huge family fight.

  15. Thank heavens she has you in her life Granny and I think she knows that you are the one stabilizing influence in her life and she sounds like a very level headed child too – but this is not fair by any stretch of the imagination – I really feel for you both! Hugs xx

    • Thanks MissChris…I feel very helpless sometimes.

  16. What a bitch. Hateful twisted and sounds resentful of P too. It is true that some parents never gel well with parenting. Isn’t there any way she can return home to live with you? If things are that bad maybe that’s something to think about, I figure you probably have. It all seems a bit effed up if you’ll pardon my language, no Dad should say that about their own kid. Although did he really say that or was it just nasty stirring from the stepmother?

    • I don’t know Dave…he phoned me today to complain about P…when I suggested we get together he got very tetchy and hung up on me.
      I would love to take her back but I don’t know what the future holds for me in the new year and next year is her final school year.

  17. Like your other friends here, I too think its a blessing that she has you from whom she can receive all the affirmation she needs. It’s terrible that kids have to go through such things during the time they are most sensitive. Somehow you’ll have to make her understand that our worthiness should be judged by ourselves alone and that nobody knows us better than we ourseves do.

  18. “Zen Master Granny”, I love it!


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