Posted by: granny1947 | June 1, 2010

Internetless Granny

Good Morning All.

Today, according to the radio, is officially, the first day of winter.
Well,well, well.
I stepped outside(no spiderweb) and it was a balmy morning.
Not a breath of wind and a waning moon.
If this is winter it can stay.

Last night I realised something.
Something somewhat disturbing.
Yesterday I cancelled my gigs as I want a new package for this month.
So last night I was internetless.
I couldn’t even access my e-mail.
It was dreadful.
I was completely lost.
Just how dependant have I become on my daily internet fix?
Do I need therapy?
Do I need a kick up the butt?

My daughter sent me the above pic via mms over the weekend.

Grandchild number seven at four weeks.
I hope she never reads this post.
Don’t you think he looks a wee bit like a monkey?

A very cute monkey.
MY little monkey.
Still…a monkey.

A salesman checked into a hotel in
Birmingham  
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day’s
meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a 
barber on the premises.
 

‘I’m afraid not, sir,’ the clerk told him  apologetically, ‘but down 
the hall from your room is a vending machine that should
serve your purposes.’
 

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted
£3.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which
time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the
salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which
reflected the best haircut of his life.
 

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,
‘Manicures,
£2.50

‘Why not?’ thought the salesman.  He paid the money, inserted his
hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were
perfectly manicured.
 

The next machine had a sign that read, ‘This Machine Provides a 
Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives,
50p 

The salesman looked both ways, put 50p in the machine,
unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood 
into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let 
out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds 
later it shut off.
 

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his 
tender unit…….. which now had a button sewn neatly on the
end..

 

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Responses

  1. bwahahahahaha!

    (Nope, the baby does NOT look like a monkey. Bad granny!)

    • Morning Cin…can you link for me…I will take a chance…she knows me!

  2. The baby is cute, Granny! Tsk, tsk. 🙂

    • Hi Madmom…you should know me by now!!!

  3. Hehe, most small babies look like monkeys, but don’t ever tell their moms that.

    • Hi There Rose…shhhhhhhhh,,,would never tell her that.

  4. Four weeks old ALREADY!!!! Sjoe time goes by VERY quickly! (and NO he does not look like a monkey … does look like he has lost some weight though). Love you joke 😀

    • Oh come on Justme…you have to admit…a little bit like a monkey!

      • Nope, I just don’t see any primate in him!

      • I will have to post a pic of a monkey so you can see Justme!

  5. Hahah that joke is awful Gogs, AWFUL I tell you!

    • Hi Simon…bet you laughed though…or are you talking about my grandson???

  6. My son looked just like a monkey as well and my mother told me so to my face! Loved the joke.

    • My elder son looked like a frog until he was two…smelled like one too!

  7. Awww – not a monkey – just cute!!
    Without internet feel like my arms have been cut off – gotta have my fix!!!

    • Hello Wolf…our IT guy has just agreed with me!!!!
      Hope I can get on tonight…you never know with Telkom!

  8. Just imagine if we didn’t change as we grow up, some of us would be mortified. But he looks very seriously respectable. Loved the joke!

    • Oh I have changed…my shape has completely changed with age!!!!

  9. HAHA!!! That joke is so funny…..bad bad granny. He is just gorgeous and not at all like that surprised monkey that you posted later…..too cute xxx

    • Come on Colleen…SOME resemblance!

  10. That joke made me laugh out loud,which this early in the morning takes some doing. Congrats on grandbaby #7. Our baby is 10 months old, but for the first month of her life my husband called her “Winston Churchill” because he says that’s who all babies look like. LOL. Seeing her newborn pics and how she looks now,I’m inclined to agree,but she was a stunning Churchill. 🙂

    • Hi there…thank you for the visit….yes my Mom said I looked like him too…damn…I had forgotten that…I must go and look in the mirror…see if I improved!


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