Posted by: granny1947 | May 26, 2010

Oh Dear.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So….I had a funny start to my morning.
Actually…not funny at all.
I got up and was almost dressed and feeling fine.
Suddenly…out of nowhere…I started to heave.
Thought…WTF?
As my friends know I do not do vomitting.
Never have and never will.
When I do …I want my mommy.
At my age that is just plain ridiculous.

So…we have a couple of scenarios.
I am pregnant!

Considering my age and the fact I had all baby making parts removed
thirty years ago this would be fantastic.
Imagine the money I would make.
I would be in all the medical journals.
I would be interviewed by Oprah.
My partner would run for the hills so fast his feet would not touch the ground.
The only reason I would love to be pregnant would be to see the look on my kid’s faces!

So I am NOT pregnant.
I must be coming down with something.
That is not nearly as interesting.
Can’t even languish in bed.
People who are over retirement age HAVE to come to work.
Can’t have HR thinking you are sickly.
Bad enough they know you are a foul mouthed grumpy old bat.

Now I need coffee.
Hope it stays in.
Far too good to waste!

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Garmin really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m prettysure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14.”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

15.I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light aswell.

19. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Staystrong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. Is it just me or do highschool kids get dumber & dumber every year?

26. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are goingto die after leaning your chair back a little too far..

27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

28. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

 
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Responses

  1. SHame, I hope you feel better soon!

    • Thanks OC…HATE feeling like this…think my boss might have given me his flu…bastard!
      Please do the FB thingy!

  2. The only good thing about being nauseous at our age is knowing we aren’t pregnant.
    Hope you get better soon, Granny.

    • morning Madmom…thanks love…feeling really rotten right now!

  3. No. 11 I know all to well!! Hope you feel better soon…love you 🙂

    • Love you too…looking forward to Friday…mwah

  4. Get well soon. Think it’s only a 24 hour thingy.

    • Thanks Adee…hope it is shorter…we are going out for Pizza tonight!

  5. Oh no granny – hope you feeling much better! Maybe just the thought of work made you heave?

    • You could be right…roll on our July shutdown for a week!

  6. Thanks for the post on our blog granny 1947. I love your list – numbers 3 and 14 particularly resonate!

    • Thank you for the return visit!!
      Just love the list…can relate to most of them!

  7. Hope you feel better soon!

    • Thanks Wolf…getting there!

  8. I don’t do vomiting either. Eeewwwww!!! Love the list! I could relate to all – but especially #13 and #20. I’m afraid #25 is true.

    • Hello Grandawn….I like the one about bad decisions…they can lead to such funny posts!

      • I should have said that #25 is true – sometimes. I know teenagers who are smart, responsible, and a joy to be around. Apologies to those teenagers. 🙂

      • Hi Grandawn…few and far between!

  9. YES to 4!! That would be the only font I would use!
    And that damn number 28 is very true right now… 😦
    I’m so sorry that you are feeling unwell… you want me to send Hugh Jackman over with a naked torso, a big smile and a sympathetic ear? (Come to think of it… you are on your own! He’s mine… MINE I tell you!)

    • Morning Lyndatjie…the way I am feeling today…you can HAVE him!!!

  10. Hope you’re feeling a whole lot better by now.

    A great list, #10 and #20 is spot on!

    • Good Morning HP…feeling fuzzy headed and am at home!

  11. Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.

    Bug going around in the South, second time in a month. Whiskey will help, and probably copious amounts of marijuana as well 😉

    Great blog, seems we move in similar circles.

    • Hi Myphotographer….Thank you for the visit!!!
      Think I will give the Whiskey and the marijuana a miss.
      Will copious amounts of wine do the same trick?

  12. Unfortunately not, too much acid in wine. You could however try some coke (the drinking kind) and if that doesn’t work then a two week course of OMEZ will definitely do the trick. It’s a proton blocker and completely legal. Get well soon.

    • Okey Dokey…maybe I WILL try some whiskey….it tastes like medicine to me anyway…unless it is in coffee…then I quite like it!


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